Ash Wednesday, 2008: Naked before God

Sin is such a dirty word in our culture today. It reeks of judgmental perceptions, it is seen as the epitome of crushing negativism, it reminds us of religious intolerance and accusations and ultimately at a very personal level, the confession of it puts us face to face with our failure to emulate the image of God in us. All in all, to talk about sin, leave alone think and probe into it is just too passe. Even the understanding of spirituality is no longer defined by religion. “I am my own boss” is the mantra that appeals to most people today. And if what I do or not do does not critically harm someone, everything is okay. I am fine, and there is no reason why God should not be happy with how I live my life.

It is so interesting to me that at a time when people are most opposed to talking about sin, we have one of the most prolific production of and fervent search for things “spiritual.” So we hear a lot of talk and discussions about spirituality but nothing much on sin. To be in a state of perpetual happiness, to somehow will the self toward detachment from suffering seems to be so important nowadays. There is this great search for and belief in a pure, untainted core within us. That which is, or used to be seen as sinful is nothing but the symptoms of unhealthy relationships and situations; things that could have been avoided if external situations had not forced us to fall victim to sin. Tuning in and learning to master a healthy spirituality is therefore so cool now. Somehow, there is this belief that getting on to the bandwagon of “spirituality” will make us holy, self-sufficient, and good. How many times have we heard or said it ourselves “I am not a bad person.”

Indeed, that particular Spring afternoon, King David must have been feeling good. His army was out to war, doing well, he had established himself as a powerful king, a poet, a singer, and he was known as a man after God’s own heart. He did not go seeking for sin, in fact, it was not even near. David looked out from his terrace and there he saw Bathseba taking a bath. I am sure David had seen many a women take plenty of baths in his day. But that day when he was basking in his glory and achievements, he saw something that he liked and did not have. He craved for it, and he knew it was in his power to get it. And from then on the story takes on cinematic proportions in plots and character. The interesting thing about the story is that it seems David never really leaves his home. Within the safe confines of his home he is consumed with envy and lust, and without much hesitation he succumbs to his envy and lust. It is to his home that he calls Uriah, the husband of his mistress. From his home he plots the death of Uriah and has Uriah carry his own death sentence in the letter he takes to David’s general. Even in marrying Bathseba the widow, David was promoting himself as the compassionate protector of the pregnant widow of Uriah. In other words, David had the evidence of his adultery and murder covered so well that nobody would have come accusing him of anything. Uriah had come home in mid battle, and he had died in battle.

But God saw the sin of David. Before David even committed adultery and murder, he had already gone far away from God’s will. He had began to trust in himself, he began to believe that his prosperity and blessings were as a result of his goodness. Sin, ultimately has to do with selfishness, a subtle but dangerous belief that we are good people as long as we do not get our hands dirty.

It is in the safe confines of our homes, our hearts and our souls that evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander and all that defile the image of God in us come out. To remind us of our sinfulness is not to condemn us, rather it is to see ourselves in the light of God’s holiness and mercy, to know that by ourselves we are unable to be holy. And God send His Son not to condemn us, but to reconcile us to Him, to embrace and recognize God’s redemption and restoration of our sinful selves. It is not weakness or punishment that we face when we confront our sinfulness, rather it is hope because to see and recognize what is sin is to understand how to overcome it. May the spirit of God probe deep within us, May He make us willing to be vulnerable before Him.