18 Pentecost
The Reverend Noel E. Bordador

I invite you for a moment to think of someone in your life who has been a blessing to you, someone who has been a source of support for you, someone who cares for you, someone who has been there for you in good and bad times, someone who accepts you in all your goodness and imperfections, someone who deeply understands you and believes in you even as some others do not, in other words, someone who loves you. This person could be a parent, a partner or spouse, or a friend, or anyone who is significant to you. Now for a moment in the silence of your heart say a simple prayer thanking God for sending this person in your life, thanking God for the love and care you receive from this person.

My brothers and sisters, the person you just thought of is God’s gift to you. And you, too, by your love and caring, are a gift to someone else. We have been created by God for the simple reason of being a gift to one another. We have been created to love and care and nurture and nourish one another. Just reflect on that for a moment. You are God’s gift to someone else, and by the love you show to someone else, you become a source of God’s blessings.

You’ve heard of that phrase, “No man is an island”, a phrase coined by the Anglican priest and poet, John Donne. Indeed! God creates us to love and be loved. We are all interconnected, no one is alone, or should be alone. God creates us to be in relationship. When I say relationship, I just don’t not mean marriage alone, but it means friendship or any other relationship that give us comfort, support, nurture and will and hope to live. We are meant to live in a web of relationships; God creates us to live in a community.  The Adam and Eve story we read earlier is really not just about marriage or having a spouse; at a deeper level, we read this story to remind ourselves that we are meant to live always in relationship- not necessarily with a spouse as many of us are not meant to marry, but all of us are meant to have nurturing relationships. This is just part of what it means to be created in God’s image.

We believe in one god who lives in community. God is a community of three persons- Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God lives as a community of three persons in relationship with one another. And when we say that we are created in the image of God, it means that we, too, like God, must live as a community. But what kind of a community? We define God as a community of three distinct persons, yet we say there is one God, not three gods ~ “one” not only because they share one and the same divine nature, but that community of three is said to be one because the three are so united perfectly. In this community, the three are “one” in the spirit of love. In this community, the three are said to be “one” because they exists in perfect equality and justice with one another. Likewise, as image of God, we humans in our diversity must attempt to live in community in the spirit of oneness- one with another in the spirit of unity, equality, mutuality and love. When our relationships, when our community fail to have these marks, then we fall away from the image of God in which we are created. Every kind of relationship- be that marriage, or friendship, or whatever- to be truly an image of God must bear these virtues and characteristics.

Now what does this got to do with the Gospel on divorce? Questions abound. Does Jesus prohibit divorce absolutely? If so, why does the Episcopal Church allows for divorce? Let me say this. At first reading, it appears that the Gospel prohibits divorce until we really unpack the whole thing and we come to realization that the prohibition is not absolute. In fact, in another Gospel- that of Matthew- Jesus allowed for divorce on grounds of infidelity or dishonesty.

In Jesus’ time, his religion allowed men to divorce their wives on any grounds, but women were not allowed to divorce their husbands. Some religious leaders allowed husbands to divorce their wives for any reason, while others allowed it if there was infidelity on the part of the wife. In any case, only husbands had been given the right to issue a divorce. As you can see in the law, there was inequality between men and women. Men were given more privilege and rights while women did not have the same rights and privileges. Therefore, what Jesus was primarily criticizing was the imbalance in the law. The prohibition itself was an primarily an attack on the inequality of the law that put women at a disadvantage. Moreover, it was an attack on the privilege of men who could divorced their wives on trivial grounds. Jesus were challenging the men to honor and live up to their commitments and not to take advantage of the legal loophole that made it easy for them to dismiss their wives without just cause. What Jesus was arguing at a deeper level was marriage equality for both men AND women.

The Church from the earliest time has allowed for divorce under certain circumstances. As I said, Jesus allowed for divorce when the marriage was so damaged by dishonesty that it could not be repaired. The Apostle Paul also allowed for divorce for the sake of peace if a Christian spouse and a non-Christian spouse just can’t get along. The Episcopal Church allows for divorce because it believes that the seeming prohibition is not absolute. The Church believes that the goal of marriage is for the couple to be wed permanently “till death do us part”; the goal of marriage is to allow the couple live in the spirit or respect, equality, mutuality, non-violence and love until death. But human beings are imperfect beings. Sometimes, the marriage comes to be marred by dishonesty, infidelity, or worse, violence~ often times, the marriage is beyond repair. When a marriage disintegrates into a relationship of abuse or inequality and lack of mutual respect, then it has failed to become the image of the community of God in which it hopes to reflect. So the pastoral response of the church is to allow the couple to take the least worse option, in this case, allow for divorce. But, this is not done in haste or without much reflection and prayer.

What I want to leave you is this. While the Gospel reading today seems to be just about marriage and divorce, I want you to consider it, however, not so. This Gospel is really not just about marriage or divorce, but at a deeper level, we read it as Christ calling us to treat each other with respect, equality and mutuality, not take advantage of one another, and not take each other for granted. It is a call to live our lives with the awareness that we are God’s gift one to another and with this gift come a responsibility to honor our commitment of nurturing and caring for one another.